Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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