Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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