I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
