went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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