If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
