dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
