I hate your face
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize