Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
