I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
