Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She needs sedatives and a leash
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
