Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
