White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
