i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
