i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
