You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
