i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
