just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize