he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Watching her eat just hurts me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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