her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
