It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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