I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
