Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
