Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
