Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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