I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
