I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
