fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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