When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
