We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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