my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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