Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
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I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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