who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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