That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
