Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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