Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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