You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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