his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
