How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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