glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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