i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He better not be in your backpack
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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