Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
