I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
