Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
