why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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