I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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