So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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