he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
