Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
