Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
