pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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