At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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