Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
