ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Damn victory sex feels great
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
