I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
