Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
