dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
