yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
