i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sorry about my life...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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