i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
