wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
