How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
